Chapel of the Apple

The Advent of Darkness

2011-11-27T21:25:00.000-08:00

I live in an area where we observe Daylight's Saving Time. Not only does this mean that in the early hours of the evening we live in complete darkness, but it also means the bitter grasp of winter is upon us. It means that even the noontime will soon be gray and overcast with darkening clouds. It means that for quite sometime we will be without the sun or warmth. Today is the first Sunday of Advent and for many, that simply means "pre-Christmas". But Advent speaks of its own essence, away from the lights, the gifts and the hope found in Christmas. Advent is not about the light, but instead about the darkness, without which there would be no light.

The darkness of Advent is not a darkness of evil exclusively but instead a darkness of possibility from which any manner of thing can be born. It is a darkness of uncertainty in which we could wallow or one in which we could utilize for our benefit. As children are being sprayed with pepper spray by grown adults for an Xbox, as people are losing their jobs and homes but still feel pressured to spend their paychecks on a massive amount of merchandise for Christmas presents, blinded by society's expectations, we constantly live in the darkness. But Advent is a chance for us to face that.

At Liturgy, we light candles to banish the darkness, burn incense to relinquish the scent of earthly rot, asperge water to wash away the filth and feast upon Living Bread to survive through the winter. We prepare ourselves for a new life, a new beginning for Advent is the liturgical new year, gathering weapons and supplies for the long journey into the spiritual night. We don purple for spiritual preparation making Advent like a mini-Lent and with the same expectations for change. We see the darkness and we know that something must die, left behind in the darkness, in order for something to be born into the light.

Most of us live in this darkness. I know that I myself have been feeling spiritually lonely and creatively stifled lately. With a lack of interest and support for St. Eve's, my optimism and enthusiasm has been waning. I have recently been plagued with disappointment as all of my efforts have been for naught. For a moment, this darkness had a hold of me and the light within became dim. It was not until that I faced this darkness that I learned I was placing too much stock in the participation of others and was blinded by my inactivity. The journey is now my own and unless I ignite my own spiritual fire, I could be lost in the dark wood forever. Therefore I intend to use this Advent and its transformative darkness for change for myself and my life. I shall arm myself with prayer and virtue, I shall ration my consumption of the material world in this time when life and light is sparse and I will seek the Divine Word in the Silence. The Darkness is here. Winter is coming. But, in the spirit of Advent, I prepare to kindle a Sacred Flame to guide and warm me until the dawn.

I pray that others will embark on this quest with me, however I know that must face this darkness alone. While others place their value in their mundane lives I pray that I will not get lost in the darkness of the material world. While others are pretending that the darkness does not exist, I seek to swim in it seeking the powers of transformation within. While others are using this winter to hibernate, I prepare to be on an endless quest with my own inner Divinity to light the way. I pray that I will not fall into forgetful ignorance but to remember that I am surrounded by a darkness, a darkness that will destroy me unless I subdue it, engage with it and give birth to a better, brighter Me. And even though I feel lonely as I embark on this endless quest into the darkness, I hope that once I get through it that I will meet others of like-mind on the other side, even if it is just the integration of my shadow with an even greater darkness, a darkness from which our greatest light can be born.

Arm yourselves with prayer, fast from delusion and material falsehood and kindle the fires of spiritual connection because the Darkness is here and Winter is coming.

The Saint Eve Mission

2011-08-06T19:10:00.000-07:00

To love our God, however unknown, with all our hearts, minds and bodies and to treat our neighbor as ourselves;

To preserve, protect, and animate the Sacred Word, once thought lost and forgotten;

To continue the mystical tradition of faith passed onto us through baptism and sustained in the Eucharist;

To reunite the soul to her Beloved and become one within the Fullness of Divinity;

To seek the Divine in a world of chaos; to reveal Divinity to the world in our own person, leading all to God in Holy Gnosis.

Gnosticism: A Religion of Freedom

2011-07-07T19:42:00.000-07:00

We talk about this word a lot: Gnosis. We all know that it means "knowledge" and in the short amount of time that we have been familiar with it, we have all been drilled on how this "gnosis" is not mere information and it can not be fully explained, only understood or experienced. Sometimes we are given a proverbial definition such as, "Gnosis is direct experience with the Divine". While that is all well and good on the surface, it is a definition that still does not satisfy.

Many people expect gnosis to satisfy. In my readings of the testimonies of saints and visionaries of gnosis-past, I have come to know that they were anything but satisfied. In fact, their experience of gnosis has instead inflamed within them an ever-greater burning desire to experience, to become, to know. It quickened their resolve for the Divine and sent them whirling in a experience of ineffable proportions, leaving behind only shadows of a former self in its wake. For these individuals, gnosis was not final rest. Gnosis was not peace. Gnosis was the end. Gnosis instead was the beginning of their journey.

If I had to define "gnosis", I would borrow from others slightly and state that, "Gnosis is direct experience with True Reality". This reality that surrounds us, pervades us and bears witness to all phenomenon, is far different from the mental constructs that we and society have created and are conjured when we think of a term such as "Divine". "Divine" sounds so perfect according to human understanding. "True Reality" sounds perfect from a detached perspective. "True Reality" encompasses sorrow and joy, pleasure and pain, life and death, existence and non-existence, physical and imaginary, and so forth. We experience this reality all the time however we do so with mental and emotional rubber gloves. Our very approach is determined by our own understanding, our own filters that we create through our past, our misunderstandings, our opinionated egotism. We buffer ourselves from the awakening nature of pain and from the mystifying depths of pleasure. We avoid sorrow and are apprehensive of joy. We fear death but loathe the mediocrity of life. The crux to all of this is that we are so numb to it, that we are not even aware of it. And that is when gnosis comes in.

Many people also read that gnosis comes in flashes, sometimes sparked as a catalyst perhaps in the form of a death, another tragic event or even the experience of rapturous pleasure. It is something that wakes us up to what is happening to us, to the tyranny of the world, to the demand from society to be who we are not, from the pressure of envy by those who are determined to make us hate ourselves for who we are. Gnosis inspires not the hearth fires of tranquility, but instead the raging inferno of righteous rage at our enslavement: limitless beings trapped in a limited world. An even though hylic nature comes with its own natural limitations, what makes it even worse is the societal limitations that we compound upon it and then masquerade it through town as freedom. This is why adherence to the law is not gnosis nor is it freedom.

Gnosis itself is not freedom and thus gnosis can not be the end of our journey. It is only the dawning of understanding. The day is still long ahead and even then cometh the night. Once gnosis is revealed, once the true nature of that shiny, gold ring we call our separated self and life is revealed as being a ring of evil, then the long trek to Mordor begins, where there can be unity with its origin once again. We can choose to abandon the journey as undoubtedly it will be hard, it will be painful, it will be epic but these are the milestones to real transformation from the drudgery of our daily lives, and such release is true freedom and is the essence and mission of this church.

We meet every week to discipline ourselves in prayer, magic, inquiry and discovery. We seek out the True Reality and we embrace ourselves for the journey. We seek out gnosis not to escape, but in anticipation of the hunt for our Authentic Selves. We aspire to Knights searching for the Holy Grail. We seek the knowledge of ourselves in hopes that we may be called to journey to the Beyond. We search for Gnosis so that we are inspired towards Freedom.

Agape Feast

2011-06-20T08:09:00.000-07:00

Saint John the Baptist, pray for us.

Agape and Philios: A Conclave Riddle

2011-06-09T11:29:00.001-07:00

It has taken me a few days to compile all of my thoughts and feelings about my experience at this 2011 AJC Conclave. I am still unsure if I have a complete grasp on it or not. The discussions were stimulating, the jokes were fresh, the atmosphere was serene and the affection was evident and genuine, however that alone does not adequately convey the experience. In one of our discussions, Monsignor Rassbach + made a comment that no one can understand the concept of “ineffable” because, well…it is ineffable. However I believe that because of this Conclave, I think that I do have a better understanding of “ineffable”. I cannot put into words how I feel about my experience there. I believe that bonds were made and friendships strengthened. I believe that minds were expanded and hearts were enflamed. I believe that joyful greetings and sorrowful farewells were ubiquitous amongst us all. Yet still, that does not adequately describe this sacred week.

Around an outside table in the back courtyard of the retreat center, in amongst cigarettes, Coke Zeros and plastic glasses of wine, a curious think tank developed amongst a number of us about a curious passage in the Gospel of our Beloved John. In John 21: 15-17, a resurrected Jesus asks Peter three times whether or not he loved him to which Peter always replies in the affirmative, but getting a little unnerved towards the end of the interrogation. It was noticed that it was Peter who denied Jesus three times during Jesus’ crucifixion and this may have been an act of reparation.

Father Anthony + made us all aware that the original Greek text bears a slight difference in the verses.

In the English, we see this (paraphrased):

Jesus: Peter, do you love me?

Peter: Yes, Lord, I love you.

Jesus: Peter, do you love me?

Peter: Yes, Lord, I love you.

Jesus: Peter, do you love me?

Peter: Yes, Lord, I love you.

But in the Greek, we see this (also paraphrased):

Jesus: Peter, do you agape me?

Peter: Yes, Lord, I phileo you.

Jesus: Peter, do you agape me?

Peter: Yes, Lord, I phileo you.

Jesus: Peter, do you phileo me?

Peter: Yes, Lord, I phileo you.

The Greeks used many words to describe different types of things. Just like “gnosis” means knowledge, it is a personal knowledge and intuition and is clearly distinct from “episteme” which is stuff you learn in books. Here the word love is shown as “agape” meaning “Divine Love” and “phileo” meaning “brotherly or familial love”.

There are many websites and articles about the significance of these verses and I can let all of you take the time to read them on your own without doing so here. Instead I wanted to share my take on it with you instead. Some of those sites states that the difference actually means nothing but to me that just sounds lazy and they gave up. Some of those sites say that it is Jesus meeting Peter on his level because Peter is unable to love to such an agape degree…I kind of partially agree with this but not entirely. Instead, I just don’t think that Peter had the words to truly describe how he felt about Jesus. Jesus was asking Peter if he loved him one way and Peter was responding that he also loved him in another way but yet neither word adequately described the relationship shared between them. What they had, the love that united them no words can encapsulate. It was ineffable.

And that is how I feel. To all of my Johannite family, not only do I agape you and phileo you, there is something else there (I promise that it is not “eros”), some other kind of love that is indescribable, ineffable and even though I am unable to put into words this feeling, I gnow that you gnow what I am talking about. Beyond the episteme there is an intimate gnowledge of the love that was brought together, nurtured and disbursed to the world through us. It is gnowledge of the ineffable and even though Monsignor Rassbach + is right that I don’t intellectually understand the ineffable, I do have an experience to forever remind me.

4th Sunday of Easter Readings and Reflections

2011-05-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

The Lesson is taken from the Great Book of the Mandaeans:

From the place of light have I gone forth, from thee, bright habitation. An angel from the house of life accompanied me, who held a staff of living water in his hand which was full of leaves of an excellent kind. He offered me of its leaves, and prayers and sacraments sprang from it. Again he offered me of them, and he turned upwards mine eyes so that I beheld my Father and knew him. As I beheld and knew my Father, I addressed three requests to him. I asked him for mildness in which there is no rebellion. I asked him for a strong heart to bear both great and small. I asked him for smooth paths to ascend and behold the place of light.

The Gospel is taken from the Gospel according to St. John:

Let not your heart be troubled; ye believe in God, believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many mansions; if it were not so I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you. And if I go to prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you into Myself, that where I am ye may be also. Now I have told you before it come to pass, that when it is come to pass ye might believe. Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

“From the place of light have I gone forth…[and] an angel from the house of life accompanied me.”

A student of Gnosticism will probably come across two sets of images. One is a Pleroma filled with ideas, archetypes, angels, aeons and spirits while the other is a Pleroma which is emptiness, the Void, Chaos, the One. Many are comfortable with the former, especially if they came from a spiritual background. It resonates with Pagans, Christians, Hindus, Ceremonial Magicians, etc. The latter appeals to the intellectuals of Gnostic circles: those who lean towards atheism, agnosticism, Jungian philosophy, students of states of consciousness. Where those who do not believe in a myriad of entities may celebrate them in liturgy, it is usually explained away as metaphor or symbol (which it is).

However what many intellectuals lack in their liturgical understanding is that just because something is not “real” according to one’s definition of “real”, does not mean that it is not influential. Take for example the god who gave the Ten Commandments. This is a character that I do not “believe” in; however its effects on my life are still present. Just because someone said that some god back in the Bronze Age instructed us to keep holy the Sabbath and even though I am not convinced that this event even happened, I am still affected by it. Some stores are closed on Sundays, restaurants are packed (I do love me a Sunday brunch)…even the law takes a break giving free parking in spots which usually cost money and have time restrictions. So whether or not you believe in Jehovah, he has affected your life in some way.

As much as I may wish to cater to this intellectual side of Gnosticism especially in my ministry to others, I am constantly reminded of how gnosis is based on our experiential understanding and not our intellectual understanding. Therefore personally, I know that there have been times in my life when I was fully aware that I was not alone in whatever I was doing. Unexplainable moments whenever the message was so clear to me, whenever I was being guided towards or away from a situation, whenever His “one desire then acts with ours”. All of these moments have influenced me and were very real, even though I am unable to imprison them within the confines of repeatable experimentation or evidence.

Am I telling people that they have to believe in a pantheon of entities to be Gnostic? Absolutely not. I would think that the minimum of belief for Gnosticism would be the idea of a simultaneously transcendent and immanent reality of existence that expresses itself through emanations of which we are a part. The rest is just filling in the blanks. However, I believe that in filling the blanks to the parts of the Great Mystery that we do not understand with unwavering intellectual theories is just as insufficient as filling them in with spiritual caricatures and legends. Both have their place and purpose but neither are absolute in terms of belief and truthful reality.

Greater truth is that we are all on a journey. Whether we are leaving some abode of Light or returning to it, we are walking the spiritual path, which is known to sometimes be a lonely one. Many of us benefit from others on the path with us, whether they be human or not, a student of the Great Mysteries or an Initiate, and friend or an angel (or both). Sometimes we learn from those walking with us and sometimes we learn by studying the footprints left behind by those who came before us. Church is such a community of sojourners searching for their own truth and gnosis and it is there that we can always find those willing to walk that soulful mile with us.

Then again, there are just as many times when it seems that we are walking that path alone and we tend to get lonely. There is a great difference between loneliness and aloneness. Loneliness is negative; it is missing someone else. Aloneness is positive; it is being present with yourself. Loneliness lives in the past or the future…thinking about memories or expectations. Aloneness is attention and communication with one’s self in the present…not a part of the past or the resurrection of some far off Second Coming…but instead a “Living Jesus” as referred in the Gospel of Thomas. It has been my experience when practicing aloneness that I touch something beyond. While I am purposefully not defining this something as “God” or “divine”; I do however feel that that which keeps me company when I am in a state of aloneness is something loving, beyond and unexplainable. This inner self, to me, is the “angel of the house of life” who bears forth a branch of sacrament and prayer. I simply call this angel “HIM” and I notice that when I am walking the spiritual path, that so long as I am aware of HIM, I am never truly alone.

I pray that you all find HIM whether it be in a friend, a family member, a light-angel-being-aeon-persona-idea, someone from church or simply an inner calling because I know that when you do, you will be found in good traveling company. You are never on your own as there are a myriad of individuals all around us searching for the truth, searching for themselves. And even when it seems that everyone has abandoned the mission except for you, you always have your inner self to guide you to self-realization. May an angel from the house of life lead you to the many mansions of the Father’s house where you may enjoy the company of HIM in timeless space. And let not your heart be troubled because someone has got your back.

A Personal Gnostic "Ave Maria"

2011-05-13T09:54:00.000-07:00

Hail Fair Maiden, full of life and grace and wonder,

The Logos resides within Thee.

Blessed are you, O Mother amongst all mothers,

and blessed is the fruit of your celestial womb, the Beloved Christos

Maria-Sophia, Ocean of Wisdom, awaken within us lost dreamers,

now, and through the aeons of Aeons. Amen

Our Lady of the Cosmos - St. Eve's Chapel

Who is she that comes forth as the morning rising, fair as the moon,

birght as the sun, terrible as an army set in battle array? (Songs 6:10)

A Prayer for Conclave Preparation

2011-05-10T18:42:00.000-07:00

If there be a home for praise
and thoughts of the Creator,
Let that home sing in celebration
and remember our Designer.

You sing a hymn of glory
to my Fearless One,
I offer myself to the hymn of glory
which brings everlasting joy.

Ever and ever, all creatures are nurtured
and cared for by the Giver.
Your bounty cannot be measured
who can reckon that Giver.

The wedding day is written,
come friends, come pour the oil together.
Your bounty cannot be measured,
who can reckon that Giver.

Each and every home receives this marriage thread,
the invitations are sent to each and all.
Nanak says, remember the Sender,
for the day will come for all.

This body is a city teeming with lust and anger.
The company of holy people can shatter these vices.
The meeting with the Master that is written,
anchors the mind to the immutable Center.

There is merit joining our palms to greet holy people,
There is merit in prostrating before holy people.

The deluded have not tasted the elixer of love,
they are pierced by the thorn of ego.
As they move on, the thorn pierces more painfully,
till the end where death awaits with staff poised to strike.

But the devotees steeped in the Name
are sundered from the suffering of life and death;
They attain the Everlasting, the Supreme Being,
and they are honored in regions far and beyond.

We are poor and low, but we still belong to You,
Highest of the High, protect us and keep us with You.
Nanak says, Your Name alone is my support and sustenance,
the Divine Name alone brings perfect joy.

-The Kirtan Sohila of the Guru Ganath

The Third Sunday of Easter Readings and Reflections

2011-05-09T12:29:00.001-07:00

The Lesson is taken from the Chaldean Oracles:

The soul of man, with nothing in it subject to death, should press God closely to itself; but now it is all drunk, for it glories in the Harmony under whose sway the mortal frame exists. Seek out the channel for the Soul-Stream, whence it that the Soul fell into slavery to the body, and to what state thou shalt rise again. Those who flee the reckless fated wing of Fate and stay themselves in God, draw to themselves the fires in all their prime as they descend out of the Father. And the soul is nourished all these Aeons by the empyrean fruit which it gathered from God, who is our home, and our true Self.

The Gospel is taken from the Gospel according to St. Thomas:

Jesus said: Blessed are the solitary and elect, for you shall find the kingdom; because you come from it, and you shall go there again. Jesus said: If they say to you: ‘From where have you originated’, you say to them: ‘We have come from the Light, where the Light has originated through itself. It stood and it revealed itself in their image.’ If they say to you: ‘Who are you?’, say: We are His sons and we are the elect of the Living Father.’ If they ask you: ‘What is the sign of your Father in you?’ say to them: ‘It is a movement and a rest.’

In Gnostic circles, it is often stated that there are three levels of existence: physical (hylic), mental (psychic/soul) and spiritual (pneumatic). The pneumatic is Ineffable. It contains and pervades all phenomenon yet it itself is beyond all understanding and description. It is as a womb, empty and dark, yet filled with the potential to contain the Divine Spark that twinkles in man’s eye. This spark is consciousness and it is the Light spoken of in the Gospel reading. The Source of this Light is understood as Christ (I am the Light of the World) and thus each one of us bears a fragment of Christ who is the Light of the Pneumatic realms and through this Light we can experience the Unknowable God (None can come to the Father but by me). We reach God through the consciousness of the mind. ([One] does not see through the soul nor through the spirit, but the mind that is between the two… -Gospel of Mary). We engage ourselves in gnosis through the mind. We use the faculties of the mind to interact with the Divine…faculties such as art, literature, poetry, music, prayer, meditation and contemplation: all things that are used in the Divine Liturgy to direct your mind to “seek out the channel for the Soul-Stream” and to “press God closely to [oneself]”.

However, there is a foreign component in the mind, a virus, a psychic bastard that thinks it knows it all and is deserving of everything…the ego. If the mind is focused on Christ (read: the Soul-Stream of Light), then it is directed towards God, who is our home and our true Self. However if our consciousness, our psychic selves are not directed to the spiritual through Christ, then our other alternative is that it is focused on the physical world through the ego. The ego thinks itself its own maker and manipulates the Light for its own purposes, searching for the All in an insufficient world. Thus it causes all of the conditions, habits and addictions that we all face on a day to day basis. (But now it is all drunk, for it glories in the Harmony under whose frame the mortal self exists.) The ego is anti-Christ and instead guides us into darkness and despair, tempting us to indulge in wickedness and ignorance and then berates us into guilt and shame for following its brittle whims.

Yeah, you read that right. The ego, the one who pumps us up, who tells us that we are better than everyone else, that what you want and what you are doing is the most important thing in the world is also the same voice that tells you that you suck, that you are a loser and that you will never amount to anything. Your ego does not like you and as much as we think that we are one with our ego and identify with it, in reality, you truly are its slave. Where the ego is haughty and proud, Christ is humble and unimposing. Where the ego is deceitful and manipulative, Christ is open and guiding. Where the ego leads us to self-destruction, Christ is the Font of Life.

Both the Ego and the Anointed Mind do not work alone. The Ego has those that are called the “Archons” which are manifested on the hylic plane as everyone and thing that has used you for its own purposes without regard to the Divinity within you. These Archons tell us that we are too fat and in order to feel better we should eat some chocolate cake. They tell us that we are stressed and should thus smoke cigarettes as if that won’t bring its own stress. They are the tacky girls in the locker room that made you feel bad in order to mask their own inadequacy or every gay basher re-enacting his own personal sexual struggle upon you. They are the ones that force us to pay bills and go to work and live the system not for your benefit but for that of the system itself. It is every self-improvement gimmick, every anti-depressant commercial, and every product, ideal or standard that promises to be the panacea to the daily irritancy of existence but in the end, always ends up with empty promises and unfulfilled guarantees.

The Aeons however are those that work on the side of Christ in this huge melodrama. They are the ones that remind us of our Divine Heritage, the glory of our Being, the unique blessing of being exactly who we are…including all of our fabulous hang-ups and issues. These Aeons were named Love, Bliss, Church, Humanity, etc. and we can see this manifestation in those we love, the means of our bliss, through Church (hopefully) and in each other (even more hopefully). It is these Aeons and their manifestations that remind us of the Divine; they are how the Light of Christ illuminates our world where the physical world and the human ego are its shadows.

However, both are insufficient as both are just reflections, fragments of the one true light and thus a path of light versus dark is still a path divided. Such dualistic thinking is not conducive to the journey. Just as being completely blind to anything beyond the physical reality will not lead us to gnosis, neither will being placated and pampered with powdered kisses and chocolate sentiments. Thus the path of gnosis has nothing to do with what we accept or reject in this life. It has nothing to do with the actions we deem acceptable or moral, because God is all things, the Fullness of experience and being, light and dark.

Instead, there is one whom Christ pours forth that reminds us of the true path to gnosis, who speaks to us in secret, cipher and whispers but when she is heard sounds as angelic choirs, rushing waters and thundering prairies all at once. She is called Sophia or Wisdom and what makes her so unique to the story is that she is an Aeon of experience. She is one who has a lofty station in the high heavens but also wallowed in the misery of the world. She is a fallen angel and an exalted sinner all at the same time. She has walked in both worlds and continues to descend upon the earth that we might ascend into gnosis. She is the essence of what it means to fall into a pile of manure and come up smelling like a rose.

She is the one that speaks to our ego in the myths and says, “You are wrong, Jaldaboath” and proceeds to explain that there is a Source that precedes the ego. She is the one that dared to find God whether in the highest of heavens or in the terror of the material forest. She is the one that was not satisfied with just being an idea of God, but was driven by the passion to find God for herself. She teaches us that it is not our passions that are our downfall but instead the object of our passions. She is the one that broke the struggle of duality by bringing Divinity to the physical world and elevated creatures of flesh to angelic stations. She is the presence of Christ in every flower, every spring day, every tornado that rips through a town, every horrible condition of earth: it is because of her that God resides somewhere behind the scenes. She is the hope found in Pandora’s Box and because of her, we persevere, we fight and we rejoice even in the midst of great misery.

This is the way of St. Eve’s. This is the mystery of Carpocratic philosophy. We do not judge our experiences, labeling and categorizing them, avoiding some experiences and racing frantically and wildly in search for others. We hunger and want and desire and crave but we do these things for God and seek out the Divine Mystery in all things, without regard as to whether our ego determines if they are good or bad because it will change its mind anyway. Sophia is the path to gnosis. Because she fell, she sanctified those moments when we fall. Because she cried, she made our tears into holy water. Because she has risen, our resurrection is a part of her glory and because she gave herself for humanity, our sacrifices for others illuminate God in a world where many only see darkness. She taught us that it is not by defending ourselves against evil or hiding under God's protective apron that will get us to the point of Divine Integration. Instead, it is by putting yourself out there, accepting both the kisses and lashings of the world and knowing that both are of God that we come to know God, little by little, day by day, through both joy and sorrow. When we are in pain, she feels it as well, making it God’s pain and when we laugh, she is the one who is delivering the angelic punchline.

While Sophia’s original descent may have been a Fall or an Error, I believe that she picked herself up, exclaimed how awesome a ride it was, climbed back into heavens, and cannonballed herself back into the hylic pool, repeating the process over and over again. Because of this Celestial Swan Dive, Heaven is on Earth and the late Gnostic philosopher Carpocrates knew this. Thus his indulgences in both hedonism and asceticism reflect that he saw God in all things, bursting with Divine Freedom and Light. He did not reject the earth with its pleasures and pains because he knew (gnosis) that it was of God. Instead, he embraced it because he wished to embrace the Untouchable. He knew himself to be a part of the world and also a spark of God simultaneously. He did not feel the need to struggle or worry about his place in the world because his true home was here, in the midst of God. He had nowhere to go or nothing to accomplish because everywhere he looked, there was God in radiant glory. Granted he saw the same things that everyone else did, except he saw them through the eyes of gnosis, the eyes of wisdom, the eyes of experience. While those who condemned his practices only saw sin, Carpocrates saw love, freedom and worship. In humanity's ecstatic dances, orgiastic agape feasts and human joy he saw God in their movements. In contemplation, in mediation and in prayer, he saw God in their rest.

It isn’t that ego is bad and should be avoided just as much as it isn’t that egolessness is good and should be embraced. It isn’t that the Fall of Sophia was bad while her Redemption was good. It wasn’t that the orgies of Carpocrates were any less virtuous than widows in silent prayer in a church. Rather both are means by which the Light shines through and that is what matters. The material world is, well, your materials. Use them to create as your God creates. Bless them with purpose and service as you have been equally blessed. Forgive the world for its ignorance thus revealing the Peace of the Light to those around you. Do not hide from the world but run after it. Whether you find yourself in a loving embrace or in the throes of fisticuffs, know that God is behind all things and that so long as we a learn from these moments a little more about ourselves and the world we live in, we thus embrace the Gnostic Path of Experiential Wisdom and are well on our way to God, our home and True Self, always within us and around us.

Therefore, relax and enjoy the show called Life. There will be some parts that make you laugh, some that make you cry and others that will make you cringe but all of them are a part of the Greatest Story Ever Lived. Be a star and shine on. You are the main character of your own life. Without the struggle, the movie would be boring. Without the joy, the movie would not be worth watching. Embrace both conflict and resolution because that is what makes life so divine, both the light and the dark.